Friday, August 30, 2019, will be a date forever seared into my memory. As I write, I feel the weight of this day even from the early hours. This is the day of interrupted plans. This is the day of dashed dreams. This is the day my family feels the sharp shards of a broken world. On this day we bury my 24-year-old cousin.
We all knew he struggled. We all were trying to reach him. We all thought we had more time. I vividly remember our last conversation. "Let's go to lunch next week. I have a Friday open." To which his last words to me were, "I'd love to go to lunch." Now, instead of lunch on Friday, I bury him.
My cousin was one the Lord laid on my heart to chase, one to reach. Like many churches, our church is in a campaign called, "Who's Your One?" This campaign encourages us to go to those in our community who desperately need the hope of Christ and share that hope with them. My cousin, though a professing believer, was one that our Lord placed on my heart. Just as I was beginning my pursuit, the enemy struck with the sharp arrows of death, as life was cut short too soon.
Through this time, I have listened to many questions. I have heard my family try to make sense of these circumstances. I have been approached by some whose questions to me in my time of tragedy reveals the deep wounds a broken world has left in their soul. Some of these emotions are anger; all of them are sorrowful. I have not been angry. I have been confused as I ask God why. Never angry, but wondering.
Our hearts are breaking. In the midst of breaking hearts we have a fresh opportunity to let the rescue begin. The rescue available comes not from a distance but from one who has come to the midst of our brokenness and allowed himself to be broken so that he could take what has been shattered and put it back not like it was but better than it ever was.
Amid this hurt, there is the temptation to turn from hope. The Gospel of John tells a story of a time when Jesus laid out plainly what it meant to follow him. Those around him found his words so difficult that they decided to turn from following him. Even some of those closest to him began to grumble. Jesus turned to those closest to him and asked, "Do you want to go away as well?" Peter answers, "Lord to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God."
During this time, those who feel the weight of this tragedy also feel the temptation to pull away. Many pull away blindly, believing they are finding peace. Peace only comes by clinging close to Jesus. The world is broken. We are in constant danger of feeling the brokenness of our world. The death of my cousin, the death of your brother, the death of your son, your grandson, nephew, friend, husband, father will be an opportunity to go in one of two directions. The world with its lies will whisper that it can heal the hurt. When the broken world tries to put what has broken together again, the results are feelings of illegitimacy, restlessness, always searching but never finding meaning. But when Christ, through love and grace, takes what is broken and puts it back together, we live with the assurance that what has been broken will be mended, what is hurt will be healed. We know this because of grace. Grace is the riches of God at Christ's expense. Grace shows that God doesn't stand at a distance from our chaos. Instead, he enters our chaos and shouts over the storm - peace. Peace comes by way of the Cross. From the Cross, we encounter an empty tomb. From the empty tomb to the glorious ascension to heaven. From the ascension to heaven to the hope of the coming soon of Jesus.
The hope in the midst of this brokenness is the fact that one day my cousin will rise. Absent from the body means present with the Lord. Present with the Lord means away from the heartache that we now feel, away from the brokenness of addiction, worry, regret, uncertainty. We in this moment get to live either with hope or uncertainty. Hope comes through the grace of God in Christ Jesus. Uncertainty is found anywhere else.
The invitation, captured well by David Crowder:
Come out of sadness
From wherever you've been
Come broken hearted
Let rescue begin
Come find your mercy
Oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can't heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can't heal
So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You're not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are